There really isn't a tactful means to express to someone that their new brand of hygiene product makes them smell like five day old sweaty ass crack more than if they had bathed in rancid elephant lard using a moose scrotum loofah, is there?
I'm sure it's good for the environment though. All organic or something. Doubtless good for the economy, and carrying a steep price tag too.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
The good, the bad and the ugly.
Or backwards of that...
I'm the Ugly. Inside and out. Get over it, I did.
The Bad:
I have to be very careful here, because I don't want to give too much away. I certainly don't want to put any ideas in anyone's head. Not that they haven't had them already, I just don't want to accelerate what may be unavoidable. Except that it is TOTALLY fucking avoidable if certain people would quit being stupid.
I work nights. I take my last break at 9:00 pm. I smoke, so I go outside and stand on the sidewalk for a few minutes. Across the street is a restaurant. I myself do not care for their food, but many do, and despite the economic downturn that the media won't let us forget about, they seem to be doing brisk trade. They are so successful that they even have a help wanted sign out front.
They close the shop at 9:00 when I take my break. They leave the doors unlocked and allow the few straggling customers with call ahead pick up orders come in to get them. The crew moves in and out sweeping the floor, shaking out rugs, taking out the trash, and bringing in the signs they put out each day.
The front of the building is all glass. One great big window broken up only by supports and the big glass doors. I can watch the place clean up and see the expressions on the faces of the workers from where I smoke, just as clearly as I can the hobo's and crazies that mill about in and out of pot smoker park at this time.
I can see, every night, at 9:05 pm one man that works in the restaurant empty the registers and count out the till. He piles big stacks of money on the big counter right in front of the big window.
And there's nothing wrong with that. Except...
There have been strings of robberies in town. Because of a tax increase that didn't go through and budget shortfalls, the city is reducing police presence and shutting off streetlights. Unemployment is high and a fair number of people are desperate.
Every night I stand outside and I watch the man count the big piles of money on the big counter right in front of the big window in the big unsecured building. Every night I stand there and I wonder "Why is this man begging people to rob his place of employment? Doesn't he like his job? Does he want to endanger his co-workers? Doesn't he understand that $150.00 cash is enough to get a person shot to death?"
It's his job, and his money to count, in his restaurant, in the United States of America, and by god, if that's what he wants to do he has the freedom to do that. But it doesn't seem terribly wise to me.
I'd be willing to bet that even before the previously mentioned cut backs that in 999.9 out of 1000 cases, the police don't stop crimes. Rather they show up and take a report after the fact. If they even bother to do that much any more. For a petty crime you'd likely be advised to go to a website and file your own damned report.
Yes, if the restaurant got robbed the police would show up. Yes they would file a report. There would likely even be an investigation, especially if a weapon was involved. There's a fair chance that the perpetrators will be caught and tried, and possibly even incarcerated. AFTER the fact.
But that's not going to bring the money that the restaurant needs to make payroll with back. That's not going to un-hurt anyone who got in the criminals way. That's not going to un-kill the young woman working her way through college in her over tight, tip generating, khaki pants that show off her curvy backside bringing a bit of cheer to my evening break.
Is it fair? Is it right? Probably not. In a perfect world people wouldn't get desperate, or stupid, or lazy and resort to hurting other people and taking their shit. There are laws against robbery. But they get broken. This kind of thing happens. It's not a perfect world. The imperfect world is full of great people, and a crap load of really shitty primates that try to pass themselves off as human.
It's going to be a lot more inconvenient for you to clean up the blood stains of a dead employee than it is to carry the money 20 paces to the back room away from the window and count it there. It is not going to hurt you to look out for number one. It's not a bad thing to take care of yourself, your possessions, your place of business, and the people you care about (even if you don't care, then consider them a puddle of guts that you're going to have to mop up).
In fact, it's a good thing. Kind of like....
The Good:
I make my own cigarettes these days. It's more economical for me. That means I need to buy loose tobacco and the tubes that I stuff it into. I can't get that at a 7-11. It requires a specialty shop. A tobacconist if you will.
I have one that I like. It's close to home, and on the way from dropping the kids off at school. The owner is a great guy, super friendly, I suspect he may be an immigrant from the middle east somewhere. He's living the American dream.
He worked hard, saved his money, put thought and effort into his life, and he owns a successful small business. He keeps his prices fair, and his standards of service are decent. He does a good job at what he does and is rewarded with many loyal satisfied customers. He fuels the economy. He has always had one employee, and now has a second one.
I'm out of smokes. I walk in past the big front window. I walk past he big front window with steel bars behind it. That's through the door with more steel bars. I bet the door gets locked at night when the till is counted.
It's early in the morning and I haven't been getting as much sleep as I like, and I'm a bit fuzzy headed so it takes a bit for events to sink into my head.
I walk in and I wipe my feet on the provided door mat. That's just the polite thing to do. There's more mats in the high traffic areas, as a janitor, I notice this stuff. The owner is using his god given wit to protect his investment. He's taken 15 seconds to realize that it snowed, and that means mud, and someone has to pay for the carpets to be cleaned and it will take me all of 2 minutes to prevent that, thereby protecting the carpet that I own, and the funds that I would otherwise have to spend on cleaning said carpet. I can appreciate that.
I grab a bag of tobacco off the rack. I wander further into the shop and pick my tubes off of the shelf. I amble over to the counter and pay for my goods. I notice something.
The clerk that rings me up is the new guy.
The new guy has a pistol in a holster on his belt. I'd guess a Glock, black polymer thing. It was probably a .45.
I'm guessing a .45 because I then noticed that the other clerk, who I'm used to, has what appears to my somewhat uneducated eye to be a 1911 in a holster on his belt.
I was amazed.
I approve whole heartedly. Throw rugs on the floor. Steel bars on the windows. Pistols on the belts of the clerks. It put a new perspective on the pair of well behaved German Shepherds that are usually behind the counter. I don't bet, I KNOW that the door gets locked before the money comes out of the cash drawer.
This guy has worked hard for everything he has. He appreciates the things that he's been able to obtain. He is willing to protect them. He's willing to protect them by realizing that shit happens and there are simple steps that he can take to prevent it, or minimize the effects as much as he is able.
He understands that shitty people happen. He understands that the steel bars on the window prevent some jackass from throwing a chair through his window. There's nothing to be gained by it.
The very obvious presence of the pistols is going to keep him from being robbed. As long as they keep the fact secret, hell, the guns don't even need to be loaded. The could even be convincing replicas.
Any person that walks into that shop with the intent to rob it is going to get to the counter, see the weapons, probably say "Oh...." and change his mind, pay $1.00 for a Bic lighter, and walk out. That of course assumes that he doesn't just run like hell.
In the end:
These are pretty extreme ends of a spectrum. There's a lot of middle ground that could be covered.
Some people don't care for firearms. Mostly, I'm OK with that. I don't think everyone should wander around armed. But I don't think that those who choose not to should interfere with those of us who choose to do so.
While in the context of my tobacconist, the pistols work very well, and frankly made me feel more comfortable shopping there, I would honestly feel less safe if every clerk and stocker at Walmart were armed. But I wouldn't have a problem with them having armed security on duty.
The weapons, or the possession and display of weapons isn't really the point I'm trying to make. If you're on your liberal gun hating rant pony, get off.
The thing I'm trying to get across is that you need to protect yourself. You need to protect your possessions. You need to protect your friends and your family. You need to protect the people in your life. You can do a lot to do this without a weapon.
Lock your doors.
Leave a light on when you're not home.
Don't wave piles of money at every person that walks by your shop.
Get a dog.
Put a rug out for people to wipe their feet on.
Rake your leaves so that the jackass that flicks his cigarette into your yard doesn't burn your house down.
Pay attention to what's around you. If you're walking alone and you see someone that gives you a 'bad feeling' don't wait for them to get close enough to fuck you up. Pull out your cell and have 911 dialed and your thumb on the little green phone button.
Wait for the light to change before you cross the street. The little white lines painted on the road will not stop a car just because you're standing on it.
If you have the light, and it still ain't stopping them, get the fuck out of the way! You should be paying attention to that. The lights don't stop cars either.
Don't bitch when the security guard at the bank asks you to take off your hat.
THINK!
Don't assume that just because you're honest that anyone else is. Don't assume that someone else is going to take care of you. Don't assume that because someone is supposed to do something that they will. Don't assume that people won't do the things they're not supposed to.
Don't assume that anyone really cares about you.
Find out for sure, and hang on tight to the ones that do.
I'm the Ugly. Inside and out. Get over it, I did.
The Bad:
I have to be very careful here, because I don't want to give too much away. I certainly don't want to put any ideas in anyone's head. Not that they haven't had them already, I just don't want to accelerate what may be unavoidable. Except that it is TOTALLY fucking avoidable if certain people would quit being stupid.
I work nights. I take my last break at 9:00 pm. I smoke, so I go outside and stand on the sidewalk for a few minutes. Across the street is a restaurant. I myself do not care for their food, but many do, and despite the economic downturn that the media won't let us forget about, they seem to be doing brisk trade. They are so successful that they even have a help wanted sign out front.
They close the shop at 9:00 when I take my break. They leave the doors unlocked and allow the few straggling customers with call ahead pick up orders come in to get them. The crew moves in and out sweeping the floor, shaking out rugs, taking out the trash, and bringing in the signs they put out each day.
The front of the building is all glass. One great big window broken up only by supports and the big glass doors. I can watch the place clean up and see the expressions on the faces of the workers from where I smoke, just as clearly as I can the hobo's and crazies that mill about in and out of pot smoker park at this time.
I can see, every night, at 9:05 pm one man that works in the restaurant empty the registers and count out the till. He piles big stacks of money on the big counter right in front of the big window.
And there's nothing wrong with that. Except...
There have been strings of robberies in town. Because of a tax increase that didn't go through and budget shortfalls, the city is reducing police presence and shutting off streetlights. Unemployment is high and a fair number of people are desperate.
Every night I stand outside and I watch the man count the big piles of money on the big counter right in front of the big window in the big unsecured building. Every night I stand there and I wonder "Why is this man begging people to rob his place of employment? Doesn't he like his job? Does he want to endanger his co-workers? Doesn't he understand that $150.00 cash is enough to get a person shot to death?"
It's his job, and his money to count, in his restaurant, in the United States of America, and by god, if that's what he wants to do he has the freedom to do that. But it doesn't seem terribly wise to me.
I'd be willing to bet that even before the previously mentioned cut backs that in 999.9 out of 1000 cases, the police don't stop crimes. Rather they show up and take a report after the fact. If they even bother to do that much any more. For a petty crime you'd likely be advised to go to a website and file your own damned report.
Yes, if the restaurant got robbed the police would show up. Yes they would file a report. There would likely even be an investigation, especially if a weapon was involved. There's a fair chance that the perpetrators will be caught and tried, and possibly even incarcerated. AFTER the fact.
But that's not going to bring the money that the restaurant needs to make payroll with back. That's not going to un-hurt anyone who got in the criminals way. That's not going to un-kill the young woman working her way through college in her over tight, tip generating, khaki pants that show off her curvy backside bringing a bit of cheer to my evening break.
Is it fair? Is it right? Probably not. In a perfect world people wouldn't get desperate, or stupid, or lazy and resort to hurting other people and taking their shit. There are laws against robbery. But they get broken. This kind of thing happens. It's not a perfect world. The imperfect world is full of great people, and a crap load of really shitty primates that try to pass themselves off as human.
It's going to be a lot more inconvenient for you to clean up the blood stains of a dead employee than it is to carry the money 20 paces to the back room away from the window and count it there. It is not going to hurt you to look out for number one. It's not a bad thing to take care of yourself, your possessions, your place of business, and the people you care about (even if you don't care, then consider them a puddle of guts that you're going to have to mop up).
In fact, it's a good thing. Kind of like....
The Good:
I make my own cigarettes these days. It's more economical for me. That means I need to buy loose tobacco and the tubes that I stuff it into. I can't get that at a 7-11. It requires a specialty shop. A tobacconist if you will.
I have one that I like. It's close to home, and on the way from dropping the kids off at school. The owner is a great guy, super friendly, I suspect he may be an immigrant from the middle east somewhere. He's living the American dream.
He worked hard, saved his money, put thought and effort into his life, and he owns a successful small business. He keeps his prices fair, and his standards of service are decent. He does a good job at what he does and is rewarded with many loyal satisfied customers. He fuels the economy. He has always had one employee, and now has a second one.
I'm out of smokes. I walk in past the big front window. I walk past he big front window with steel bars behind it. That's through the door with more steel bars. I bet the door gets locked at night when the till is counted.
It's early in the morning and I haven't been getting as much sleep as I like, and I'm a bit fuzzy headed so it takes a bit for events to sink into my head.
I walk in and I wipe my feet on the provided door mat. That's just the polite thing to do. There's more mats in the high traffic areas, as a janitor, I notice this stuff. The owner is using his god given wit to protect his investment. He's taken 15 seconds to realize that it snowed, and that means mud, and someone has to pay for the carpets to be cleaned and it will take me all of 2 minutes to prevent that, thereby protecting the carpet that I own, and the funds that I would otherwise have to spend on cleaning said carpet. I can appreciate that.
I grab a bag of tobacco off the rack. I wander further into the shop and pick my tubes off of the shelf. I amble over to the counter and pay for my goods. I notice something.
The clerk that rings me up is the new guy.
The new guy has a pistol in a holster on his belt. I'd guess a Glock, black polymer thing. It was probably a .45.
I'm guessing a .45 because I then noticed that the other clerk, who I'm used to, has what appears to my somewhat uneducated eye to be a 1911 in a holster on his belt.
I was amazed.
I approve whole heartedly. Throw rugs on the floor. Steel bars on the windows. Pistols on the belts of the clerks. It put a new perspective on the pair of well behaved German Shepherds that are usually behind the counter. I don't bet, I KNOW that the door gets locked before the money comes out of the cash drawer.
This guy has worked hard for everything he has. He appreciates the things that he's been able to obtain. He is willing to protect them. He's willing to protect them by realizing that shit happens and there are simple steps that he can take to prevent it, or minimize the effects as much as he is able.
He understands that shitty people happen. He understands that the steel bars on the window prevent some jackass from throwing a chair through his window. There's nothing to be gained by it.
The very obvious presence of the pistols is going to keep him from being robbed. As long as they keep the fact secret, hell, the guns don't even need to be loaded. The could even be convincing replicas.
Any person that walks into that shop with the intent to rob it is going to get to the counter, see the weapons, probably say "Oh...." and change his mind, pay $1.00 for a Bic lighter, and walk out. That of course assumes that he doesn't just run like hell.
In the end:
These are pretty extreme ends of a spectrum. There's a lot of middle ground that could be covered.
Some people don't care for firearms. Mostly, I'm OK with that. I don't think everyone should wander around armed. But I don't think that those who choose not to should interfere with those of us who choose to do so.
While in the context of my tobacconist, the pistols work very well, and frankly made me feel more comfortable shopping there, I would honestly feel less safe if every clerk and stocker at Walmart were armed. But I wouldn't have a problem with them having armed security on duty.
The weapons, or the possession and display of weapons isn't really the point I'm trying to make. If you're on your liberal gun hating rant pony, get off.
The thing I'm trying to get across is that you need to protect yourself. You need to protect your possessions. You need to protect your friends and your family. You need to protect the people in your life. You can do a lot to do this without a weapon.
Lock your doors.
Leave a light on when you're not home.
Don't wave piles of money at every person that walks by your shop.
Get a dog.
Put a rug out for people to wipe their feet on.
Rake your leaves so that the jackass that flicks his cigarette into your yard doesn't burn your house down.
Pay attention to what's around you. If you're walking alone and you see someone that gives you a 'bad feeling' don't wait for them to get close enough to fuck you up. Pull out your cell and have 911 dialed and your thumb on the little green phone button.
Wait for the light to change before you cross the street. The little white lines painted on the road will not stop a car just because you're standing on it.
If you have the light, and it still ain't stopping them, get the fuck out of the way! You should be paying attention to that. The lights don't stop cars either.
Don't bitch when the security guard at the bank asks you to take off your hat.
THINK!
Don't assume that just because you're honest that anyone else is. Don't assume that someone else is going to take care of you. Don't assume that because someone is supposed to do something that they will. Don't assume that people won't do the things they're not supposed to.
Don't assume that anyone really cares about you.
Find out for sure, and hang on tight to the ones that do.
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