I really do.
http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/hmg-avatar-hidden-messages.html
Hidden? What the fuckin fuck?
Look. When you run at me screaming a message, and beat me over the head with a Louisville Slugger until I can repeat it by heart, it's not "hidden."
The so called "hidden" messages are no more hidden than the stink of lightly tuna flavored feces when you stuff cat turds up your nose.
It's right there. Right out in front of everything, including overdone special effects. Just because you painted the little tribal dudes blue doesn't mean your message is camoflaged.
It's all about as subtle (and stupid) as throwing a bucket of red paint on a little old lady wearing a fur coat and screaming at her that "meat is murder!"
And really... haven't we heard this same story before? About a million times? I have not, nor am I going to go see this. I'll just rent Dances with Wolves or The Last Samurai or some other version of this crap and fiddle with the color settings on my TV till the poor indiginous folk being oppressed by corporations and that evil technology shit turn blue. Some blue Hobbits riding to war on blue Ents would be funny as hell. Or it might be funny, if I were smoking some really good shit.
I don't know what's more depressing.
1> James Cameron thinking that he's got an original idea anywhere in his head.
2> The fact that someone somewhere thought that these same worn out, unoriginal, beat to death concepts were so subtley implemented by beating people over the head with it that they needed to write and article to point it out to the rest of the world.
3> The fact that there are people out there that probably don't and/or didn't get it until someone else pointed it out to them. Though, no one that reads my blog. Not that you're that much smarter, just... yeah no one reads this crap.
4> People paid money to see it.
5> You stingy bastards aren't sharing the crap you're smoking with me. It's got to be a god damned happy place where you're at, and I'd really like to see those rainbow sparkles.
Puff puff PASS already.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
No... you don't.
Dear Teenage Girls,
Do not espouse to me, or anyone else, including him, how much you love and adore your boyfriend.
Because you don't.
You don't even understand what love means.
I'm not trying to be an ass, but the thing is you're just young.
Go log some hours at your local hospice. Spoon feed some poor dying slob something that has the consistency of mud and smells like death or spoiled milk, then change the bed pan and wipe his ass for him. Make sure you get all the urine and feces off of his unmentionables or he'll get a rash. EEEEEWWWW!!!! GROSS!!! Right?
Now.
Understand that your boyfriend, that you love so dearly, could get hit by a truck at any time and end up just like that. Now, imagine dropping out of school, and getting a shitty job that you hate. Work that job for 10 hours a day so that you can pay the bills, then go spend 6 hours spoon feeding and ass-wiping your boyfriend. Your boyfriend, incidentally, is way too fucked up to stick it in you any more, just in case you hadn't figured that out. You're lucky if you can have simple conversations. More than likely it's moans and grunts.
Fuck that shit right?
Well. That's what love is. It means being there no matter what.
Your boyfriend may not have said 'I love you too'. Give him credit for that. He probably doesn't know why, he doesn't really understand what love is either. But he does know that he's not going to wipe drool off of your face, and clean you up when you shit all over yourself. Don't nag him, and ask him why he never tells you he loves you. It's because he doesn't, and he knows it, and he doesn't want to lie to your face. He damned well may love you some day. He damned well may be willing to give up the entirety of his life to take care of you. But today is not that day. You should admire him for this, and give credit where credit is due.
Your boyfriend may well have told you that he loves you. He lied. Don't get too pissed off. He probably doesn't even know it. He didn't set out to lie to you. He just doesn't understand what he's saying, any more than you do. But I can tell you what he really meant when he said "I love you." What he really meant was "You make my dangly parts quit dangling!" or maybe he meant "I like it when you let me stick it in you!"
That's ok. Really it is. Boys, and men have this thing where we like to stick it in girls or women. Women and girls sometimes like it when we do that. It's part of life. It's part of growing up. Sometimes, we even go further than that, and enjoy each others company. We hang out and we do stuff together, and it's fun. We like it. All of us are pretty hard wired to want sex and companionship. That's in almost every case a very good thing. But that's not love.
So let's just try to be more honest.
Don't tell him you love him.
Don't tell me you love him.
Don't tell your friends how much you love him.
Don't tell his friends how much you love him.
Don't tell his parents, or your parents you love him.
Don't post on the internet how much you love him. The more you do this, the less the rest of us believe you. It's like you've stopped trying to tell us, and started trying to convince yourself. That can't be healthy.
And damned sure don't write "I love Darwood! <3" on the fucking bathroom wall.
Do not espouse to me, or anyone else, including him, how much you love and adore your boyfriend.
Because you don't.
You don't even understand what love means.
I'm not trying to be an ass, but the thing is you're just young.
Go log some hours at your local hospice. Spoon feed some poor dying slob something that has the consistency of mud and smells like death or spoiled milk, then change the bed pan and wipe his ass for him. Make sure you get all the urine and feces off of his unmentionables or he'll get a rash. EEEEEWWWW!!!! GROSS!!! Right?
Now.
Understand that your boyfriend, that you love so dearly, could get hit by a truck at any time and end up just like that. Now, imagine dropping out of school, and getting a shitty job that you hate. Work that job for 10 hours a day so that you can pay the bills, then go spend 6 hours spoon feeding and ass-wiping your boyfriend. Your boyfriend, incidentally, is way too fucked up to stick it in you any more, just in case you hadn't figured that out. You're lucky if you can have simple conversations. More than likely it's moans and grunts.
Fuck that shit right?
Well. That's what love is. It means being there no matter what.
Your boyfriend may not have said 'I love you too'. Give him credit for that. He probably doesn't know why, he doesn't really understand what love is either. But he does know that he's not going to wipe drool off of your face, and clean you up when you shit all over yourself. Don't nag him, and ask him why he never tells you he loves you. It's because he doesn't, and he knows it, and he doesn't want to lie to your face. He damned well may love you some day. He damned well may be willing to give up the entirety of his life to take care of you. But today is not that day. You should admire him for this, and give credit where credit is due.
Your boyfriend may well have told you that he loves you. He lied. Don't get too pissed off. He probably doesn't even know it. He didn't set out to lie to you. He just doesn't understand what he's saying, any more than you do. But I can tell you what he really meant when he said "I love you." What he really meant was "You make my dangly parts quit dangling!" or maybe he meant "I like it when you let me stick it in you!"
That's ok. Really it is. Boys, and men have this thing where we like to stick it in girls or women. Women and girls sometimes like it when we do that. It's part of life. It's part of growing up. Sometimes, we even go further than that, and enjoy each others company. We hang out and we do stuff together, and it's fun. We like it. All of us are pretty hard wired to want sex and companionship. That's in almost every case a very good thing. But that's not love.
So let's just try to be more honest.
Don't tell him you love him.
Don't tell me you love him.
Don't tell your friends how much you love him.
Don't tell his friends how much you love him.
Don't tell his parents, or your parents you love him.
Don't post on the internet how much you love him. The more you do this, the less the rest of us believe you. It's like you've stopped trying to tell us, and started trying to convince yourself. That can't be healthy.
And damned sure don't write "I love Darwood! <3" on the fucking bathroom wall.
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